I owe, I owe....So off to work I go

It is time for me to go to work and try to catch from two days of jury service. Time for me to deal with lazy co-workers and insane customers. Time for me to deal with bosses who don't know their job. Time for me to deal with retarded vendors who want everything and want to do nothing (mainly Coca-Cola). But most of, time for me to go to work and try to help change the store around for the best and help others because that is the type of person I am. A person that cares. A person that still has some hope. A person that turn down a job at a better place and making a $1.50 more because I CARE.

Ponder This

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Recite at a play and play at a recital?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?

If a 7/11 is open 24 hours-a-day, 365 days-a-year, why are there locks on the doors?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

What is another word for "Thesaurus"?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?

One Seat Away

I was one seat away from being a jury alternate. They picked the main jury but needed two alternates and there was only six of us in the jury pool. Six of us left after over 250 people. The six of us were questioned by judge, the assistant D.A. and then the defense attorney. They asks a lot of personal questions. After the questioning, two people were excused. Then the judge had to pick two people out of the four people. She picked the two people in the first two seat. I was in the third seat. Oh well, I did my part, but I want to serve on a jury. So, I guess I have to go to work tomorrow....UGH.

The SMACK of the gavel

Today is my day off, but I have to report back for jury duty. I kinda hope I am picked. It is a long, long process to pick a jury, but it is part of our responsibility for being a citizen of this country and I am happy to do my part. Plus it gets me out of work with pay. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Out of 225 possible jurors, they are still not done picking a jury and there are ten of us left in the jury pool. At the coffee is free, but I not a coffee drinker. Soon, I have to get ready to go down to courthouse to wait to have my number called and play my part in the justice system.

20 Things I've Learned From TV and Movies

20 Things I've Learned From TV and Movies


1. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's day parade at any time of the year.

2. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

3. It is easy for any one to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

4. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

5. The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.

6. You are likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

7. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

8. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

9. When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note and just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

10. Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.

11. People on TV never finish their drinks.

12. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

13. Any person walking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

14. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorouslyfrom left to right every few moments, and maintain a stern expression.

15. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.

16. When you turn out the lights to go to bed,everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

17. Action heroes never face charge for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities towaste.

18. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

19. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they are going to go off.

20. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

Funny Useless Facts

Funny Useless Facts


111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from and old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand. Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English alphabet.

The average chocolate bar has 8 insects' legs in it.

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament Building is an American flag.

All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

Elvis had a twin brother named Garon, who died at birth, which is why Elvis' middle name was spelled Aron; in honor of his brother.

20 Ways to Confuse Trick or Treaters

20 Ways to Confuse Trick or Treaters


1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)

2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, "Trick or Treat!" Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.

3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, "Top Secret" in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, "It's about time you got here," give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.

4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, "Come in." When they do, have everyone yell, "Surprise!!!" Act like it's a surprise party.

5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what's wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural "whirring" sound.

6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill.

7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don't move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.

8. When you answer the door, hold up one candybar, throw it out into the street, and yell, "Crawl for it!"

9. When you answer the door, look at the trick-or-treaters, act shocked and scared, and start screaming your head off. Slam the door and runaround the house, screaming until they go away.

10. Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.

11. Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.

12. Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.

13. When people come to the door, jump out a nearby window, crashing through the glass, and run as far away from your house as you can.

14. Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.

15. Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.

16. Answer the door dressed as a dentist. Angrily give the trick-or-treaters a two-hour lecture on tooth decay.

17. Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M's and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don't have any candy.

18. Hand out cigarettes and bottles of asprin.

19. Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.

20. Dress up like a bunny rabbit. Yell and curse from the moment you open the door, and angrily throw the candy at the trick-or-treaters. Slam the door when you're finished.

Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating

Top 10 Signs You Are Too Old to Be Trick or Treating


10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask. 5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.

Spam

Trapped In A Room Without A View

I set in a boring meeting with a group of people dicussing that same crap that we have been talking about for three weeks and we still we made no progress. People whining about the same problems but unwilling to help fix problems in the store. i wasted two hours of my time listening to the same dribble today. Time, I needed to get my work done and I am way behind because I helped other people get their work done. The same people that are unwilling to help anyone else. On top of being behind, I may have to go in for jury duty tomorrow. I have to call after 11am. for a 12:30 p.m. jury appearance. I don't mind the jury duty, it is just I am so far behind at work and i know that no one is going to help me get caught up. I am always helping someone and no one helps me. I work in a sad, sad place.

lazy people

Today sucked. Today was the start of a busy week at work and nothing was ready. people lagged on their jobs and i had to pick up the pieces. Lazy people is what i work with. tomorrow is another busy day and i don't want to go back.

work. what a joke!!!!!!!!!!

Oh what a day. i hate work. i had to kick a vendor of my store because he was a dumbass. some of co-workers are idiots. The upper management are clueless. The only good thing about today was that my good friend collette got promoted. it was well over due. she is and always has been a great worker. Congrats, collette. i, also, got a moron in trouble at work. he name is victor. what a waste of human skin and flesh. lazy ass. I almost had a grown man cry. hahahahaha. My coca cola sales rep. another waste of body parts. he does not want to take responsibility for coke's troubles in my store. so i had to put him in his place and the man almost cried. i hate work.

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